“How Othello loved Desdemona, sometimes I envy her,” Larisa Dolina sang.
But what is there to envy here? For some reason, the Internet is full of answers to the question – how to make a man be jealous. But how to calm this jealousy in it later – no one is interested. But meanwhile who decided that jealousy is evidence of strong love? Love is trust. Trite, you say. Trite, but the fact. After all, if you think ..
Why jealousy arises? What turns a man into Othello? Today we will consider the issue of jealousy from the point of view of our Othello, that is, we will try to figure out why a man is jealous.
And there may be several reasons for this
Why a man is jealous?
1. Alfa Mamets, or a sense of property
It would seem that there are no reasons for jealousy. But sometimes even an innocent look towards another man, or a nod to a friend wakes up in the imagination of your Othello, various images of betrayal. And what follows from this? Banses. At every step, as they say “jealous for each pillar”. You have no intention to change your thoughts, and the jealousy of your beloved man still makes itself felt.
“Anna and Dima were a gorgeous couple and very suitable for each other. Moreover, they have been married for ten years. Only now her husband’s jealousy did not subside over time. Or maybe even increased with age. The most surprising thing was that Dima himself was still that handsome. And to assume that Anna could leave him (in the presence of two children) is almost impossible. Yes, only when it comes to feelings, the logic is powerless. Despite the fact that Anna was a regular of parties, as it turned out, for her any events were limited to strict frames. Literally every half an hour, she grabbed the phone pouring tricks and whispered to her beloved husband the soothing words “dear, well, a little more. Well, just sat down. Well, another hour “. After an hour the call was repeated. Regardless of the circumstances and the level of fun, Anna was obliged to be at home at exactly 12: 00. Small concessions fell only if at the party they were with her husband. Yes, it is not known what is better. Indeed, in this case, under the strictest supervision of the husband, any exchange of courtesies was considered as a potential betrayal. What later poured into this kind of reproaches: “Why did he touch you?”” Didn’t you smile too much to him?”.
Why is he jealous?
If there really is no reason, then, apparently, you got a real owner. “So all men are owners! ” – any of us can quite rightly notice. And there will be rights! After all, according to psychologists, men are great owners than women. And why? Yes, because their pride is more vulnerable, and they ourselves are more than we are subject to all kinds of stress. All these are instincts that are not dependent on him, but donated by nature. How he, male, can share his female with some other male.
I really like watching films about animals. After all, their life is deprived of all sorts of emotional troubles, psychological delights and interweaving of feelings. Just instincts. Which, if you think, are the primary history and our lives. Here, let’s say why, in your opinion, the lioness cannot, consisting in the herd of one male, go for a walk along the prairie with another?
That and it. Thus, despite even the changing arrangement of roles of a man and a woman, men still remain large owners. But this is for the better. True, if this acquires a manic coloring, here it is not up to joy. When the beloved is jealous, this is undoubtedly flattering. But when you need to report for every step ..
What to do with such a jealous?
What to do, if you got so jealous? How to deal with the jealousy of a loved one.
* The main thing, of course, constantly repeat to him that he is the only and the best, to talk about how you love and appreciate him. It is important not to praise. But it is worth remembering that a heightened sense of property is the result of hidden complexes. So you do not need to develop them even more.
* Oddly enough, but you should not follow the pathological jealous and yield to the ultimatums. When a man sees that you are not confident in yourself and his point of view, he is even more strengthened in his position.
* Do not give unnecessary reasons. All the same, although it is not necessary to encourage impulses of jealousy of a beloved man, give extra reasons for such impulses will be even more mistake.
Of course, we are now not talking about those terrible and completely non -normal cases of jealousy when it comes to assault and the like. After all, if he really loves you, then you can probably find compromises.
2. Stigma in a gun, or a hidden traitor
The fact that all men are changing, you can argue endlessly. We will talk about this. But the fact that his unreasonable jealousy can be the reason for concealing evidence is a fact. As you know, the best defense is an attack. Suddenly he began to be jealous for no reason and make claims to a seemingly empty place. Maybe this is a reason to think?
“Alina met with Roman not long at all. They still did not have time to really recognize each other, as their novel was put an end in connection with an unexpected incident. Once Alina went to visit her friend after work. We drank a seagull, got sick, sat down until the evening. And so, about 10 hours on a cell phone romance called. The dialogue has developed completely unexpected.
– Where are you? You looked at the watch? – the voice was indignant at the tube.
– I’m with a friend. So what? – Alina began to make excuses.
– What other friends? My girlfriend should be at 9 o’clock! He continued.
– What on earth do you talk like that? – Here her turn came to resent.
– Well, give the phone to your girlfriend! I want to talk to her, ”Alina finally finished off the newly -minted boyfriend. After her refusal, he showered her with accusations that she was sitting not at all with her friend, but with supposedly men and tomorrow there would be a serious conversation. And this is given that the term of the novel with the novel was two at that time from the strength of the week. As it turned out later through friends, that evening the novel himself sat visiting a friend, in the company, not without female. “.
How to explain such jealousy of a man?
Well, everything seems to be simple here. Psychologists call this emotional self -defense. When a man has already changed, or only thinks about it, he needs to overshadow his girlfriend’s vigilance. And how is the easiest to do this? Well, firstly, he can suddenly become extremely attentive and romantic, which was not before him before. It plays guilt in it. Or maybe it can become suspicious and jealous. And while she thinks about why he is jealous and attributes it to a surge of passion on his part, he “under the noise” and her excuses can sin on the side.
What to do?
Of course, no need to start looking for in any attack of jealousy of a loved one signs of his own betrayal. It’s just as one of the options. Another thing is if jealousy from a man has become sudden, and, most importantly, unreasonable. Then you should think. After all, it is one thing, if this is a feature of his character, and another – when something suddenly changes. But, nevertheless, I believe that a loving girl will always feel the slightest changes in the behavior of her beloved man. And about his betrayal and how to recognize her, we will talk another time.
Not without reason, or they are to blame
Yes, it happens that. We will not hide. Sometimes a woman herself provokes a man to jealousy. No wonder the search query is so popular on how to make it be jealous. Well, what to do, there is it in us. Everything is very simple: a woman needs to belong to someone. And this is completely normal. That’s why she and a woman.
But there is one but. Which is the inconsistency of female nature. Along with the desire to belong to one single, a woman cannot deny herself attention from other men.
And the more it is, the sexier and more confident she feels. Who does not agree with this?
“Vadim was not jealous of Lena. Well, almost never. He did not even forbid her to stay late at the club with her friends, did not check her phone, did not call five times a day. He believed her unconditionally. As if he was sure in advance that she would never change. This is not to say that she didn’t like it. After all, trust is the most important. It just once happened that from an innocent flirting to the irrevocable border, only a thin line separated it, which she, for her happiness, did not manage to cross. He forgave her. In the end. Yes, there was no betrayal. But she could potentially be.
– You said that I am not jealous of you, ”said Vadim,“ now you will see that there is no more jealous of me.
No, he still allows her to sit late with her friends in the club. Only now Lena knows that he is always aware of where she is and with whom “.
Why is your beloved jealous?
As mentioned above, any man is the owner. And when someone else wants to encroach on his woman, instinct wakes up in him. Probably only an indifferent and spineless man will remain indifferent in this case.
What to do so that he is not jealous?
It would seem that everything is simple – there is no need to give reasons for jealousy. And most importantly – do not have to deceive. After all, everything secret will still become clear. Each of us has an innocent flirting. In general, the communication of a man and a woman is most often based on a flirting. This stimulates, raises tone, and indeed improves mood. And there is absolutely nothing terrible and prejudicial in this. You just need to dose everything. A little flirting, a little male attention. And do not flirt. After all, it is easy to lose trust, and it is much more difficult to return.