So, we will continue our reasoning on the birth of children. As I already said in the first part, in our time the girls are becoming more and more “suddenly”, respectively, do not ask the question – if I want a child. Sometimes this ends with a long and happy marriage. But far from always.
We will continue our conversation about the attitude to the birth of a child
A few more stories (the other side of the coin)
… I talked with Marina at school. We have been friends for a long time. But we went to study in different cities and were a little “lost”. As usual – she has my own life, I have my own. We haven’t seen each other for a long time. But when I found her on social networks, then wedding photos were already flaunting on Marina’s page. Happy bride in a white dress against the backdrop of a snow -white winter landscape and a stately groom in a suit – a beautiful couple. I sincerely glad for Marina. After all, this is wonderful when a person finds his second half. Another else has passed. And in the market, as it usually happens, our mothers met by chance. And then Marina’s mother, being, in an idiot, in upset feelings, laid out the whole situation to my mother. It turned out that Marina has been living at home with her parents, where she came with her child (boy 1, 5 year). “This goat played the family and threw it” – as Marina’s mother put it. As it turned out, the wedding took place in connection with the unexpected pregnancy of my long -standing girlfriend. Nothing portended problems. Young together filmed KV artillery. Parents helped on both sides. And a year later, the daughter returned home already with her grandson. This is how it happens.
Commentary on history:
It usually happens like? Some time lovers meet. And then, realizing that it seems like it is time to transfer relationships to a new level, and deciding to practice in terms of family relations, they decide to live together. This is for a while – they say to each other. But nothing is more constant than a temporary.
And their joint life is drawn up. But, traditions and customs in our head are still strong, and the picture of a prosperous family implies a wedding ceremony.
De Wushka begins to understand that it was time to get a stamp in the passport. And the man gets used to it, and he, in principle, does not want to change anything. The girl is near, life is established, relationships are arranged. Here – then you need to push him. And the girl decides to get pregnant. No, I do not say that this is always the case. Sometimes pregnancy is really unplanned. For example, for the New Year, after several champagne glasses))).
And when the question of morality and conscience before the new father, it is natural, if he is a worthy person, you need to marry. A wedding occurs.
And after the wedding, when the first euphoria and turmoil pass, mutual claims arise from nowhere. Because now they have rights to each other and they owe each other and must. Many young families cannot survive the first crisis and break up. And, considering that both young and personal life still want to arrange, often the child becomes a kind of hindrance and unobtrusively shifts to the shoulders of grandparents. As in the next story.
… Inna met her future husband when she was already about 30 years old. They did not meet for a very long time, did not live together at all, but almost immediately signed. Apparently, they worried that someone would change his mind. Both of them were already just at the age, absolutely conscious and perfectly suitable for the first marriage. Their baby was born, as in an ideal scheme, a year after. The young family had no problems with money. And, it would seem, live and rejoice. So no. The husband began to drink. Given the fact that before the wedding they did not communicate too long, this habit did not appear. For that, with all the fullness, she made itself felt after the wedding. Of course, she tried to fight this. I tried almost two years. But everything is useless. And the marriage broke up. Inna was still a young and beautiful girl. In a small town with men was tight. And then she had the opportunity to go to the capital to work. Having lived with a friend, she eventually found a new love for herself. And quite successfully settled down. Now she is no longer a divorce, but again a wife. He has never been married and has no children. Therefore, she will probably give birth to another. And where is the first child – you ask? And he stayed to live with his grandparents at home. He sees his mother no more than once every six months. She promised to take him to her as soon as she got a job. I got a job. And the child from the first marriage in her successful scheme is not yet available.
Commentary on history:
It is clear that I want to arrange my personal life. Naturally, it is much easier to do it without a child. Therefore, as mentioned above, parents are pulled up. Perhaps the reason is also that the girls are in a hurry to give birth to a child. It seems to them that this chance is the last. And they are not birth now, then it will be too late. As they say: “And he is in a hurry to live and in a hurry”. And it turns out that it gives birth not because I want to give birth, but because you need to create a family rather and calmness will come. And reassurance, on the contrary, leaves. After all, the child needs to not only give birth, but by foster and educate correctly. Moreover, the upbringing of a girl and the upbringing of a boy are completely different things.
As I said, there were too many examples in front of my eyes that make you think about whether the girls are analyzing at all when they get pregnant? If we take into account that most of those (even judging by the survey), who gave birth, did not plan a child at all, but gave birth on the principle of “let it be”, and they didn’t give birth to a part of it, then the percentage of girls who are on itself they want a child – just scanty.
Indeed, according to statistical data, more than 50% of pregnancies currently end in abortion. And a little less than 10% of women after abortion become barren. This is another side of the medal.
How can you get pregnant suddenly, at least kill, I don’t understand! Only being impudent, or carefully planning this “surprise”.
In my opinion, there are three main reasons why girls give birth to a child in our time.
– Game in the family. Well, I want to feel like adults, independent. We met, lived that now? According to a survey of the Foundation about the Opinion, 12% of people answered the question – why did you become parents – “to feel like an adult and an independent person”. This says a lot. Only now many do it succeed? Usually, young people only think that they are ready to become parents. And children are added to their parents. And the game in the family finished deplorable.
– Stereotypes. When I asked my pregnant friend “And you yourself want a child? “, She somehow crumbled, lowered her eyes to her stomach and said -” Well, it seems like it is time. “. This word “time” I have already heard many times. As if in the life of every girl, the line comes at a certain age, after which she will not be able to give birth.
For the same reason, after 23, about 23 years old, those around them usually begin to ask stupid questions like “Well, when are you when? “. For some reason, someone else’s opinion plays a big role in the lives of many people. And the pressure of society leads to the fact that the decisions made by the girl are based not on her desires, but on this very opinion.
– I swim with the flow. “Well, do not do an abortion,” said another friend of mine, spreading her hands. Very hundreds of people do not think about what they really want from life. Rather, they think. It seems like you want money, and that everything is, and the world around the world. Something abstract, sky -high. And they themselves float with the flow, afraid to grab onto some branch. After all, everyone is swimming and I swim. Everyone gives birth and I give birth. Where everyone will turn, there and me. Therefore, topics – if I want a child, a family and what I want to do in my life – are not in the list of important. That fate will send, I will take.
And yet, it seems to me that the child should be long -awaited, desirable and conscious.
Of course, you can say that there is a maternal instinct in a woman at any age, and he will wake up when the child appears. But it is better for him to wake up before his appearance. In order not to be angry with the child in the future, not to assume that the child caused some non -fulfilled plans, an unsettled personal life, which may well take place.
If we compare, then in this regard I am more clear to the position of girls who decided to give birth for themselves. At least they plan their lives, realize, know why they do it. Unlike those who look at the stomach and do not understand – where could it come from and how this could happen.
So, let’s think about what we want from life, rely only on our opinion and let the children be only!